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Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Apparently I only look like an adult...

So this morning I woke up at five-thirty, because that's what I always do. After trying for more than an hour to go back to sleep, I thought I would gather my coupons and head back to Smith's. I forgot to get eggs and perhaps there were still some great  mega coupon deals left.
 When I was stopped at the intersection near Smith's I noticed a motorcycle pass me. 'Was that a cop? I don't think so. Regardless, I'm ok. I'm definitely not speeding.' Except when I pulled into the parking lot, he came back and his lights started flashing. 'Whah, I should have stayed in bed!'
"Yes officer, I realise that my stickers are expired. I paid for my inspection at the one local inspection place that doesn't just give you the stickers there and when I paid for my vehicle registration online my printer wasn't working." Because this is the way that the universe works, I'm willing to bet that the stickers will come in the mail today, and I did get my printer working later, but totally forgot to print my temporary "sticker" '. :s
"Do you realize that your front headlight is out?"
"Ah! No, I didn't realize that. I just had it inspected last week and it was fine."
"Let me see you license, insurance and registration."
"Why does your license have holes punched in it?"
"Because my birth certificate is invalid."
He looked at me like I had lost my mind. 'What kind of a bogus excuse is that? Whose birth certificate is invalid anyway? Just mine, that's who.' "Here's my temporary license."
"Oh, good. This is what I need. I've never seen them punch holes through someone's middle name before." 'I'm just special that way.'
While he was looking for that I searched through my wallet for my car insurance card, which was MIA. See Thing 2 has an obsession with dumping things out of my wallet any chance he can, and apparently the last time my car insurance card didn't make it back in. More excuses.
While he called dispatch to verify my vehicle, I searched through the glove compartment and every other part of my car for my registration. Nothing. Nor can I think of remotely relevant excuse. 'Hi, my name is Heather, and apparently I only look like a competent adult, because I can't manage to do simple things like carry  proof of valid license, insurance and registration.' And as I write this I am eating cookies and milk for breakfast. Yup, I am an a-dult. I feel like this comic is becoming a reoccurring theme in my life. At least he was able to look up and see that I was in fact insured and registered.
He was very nice. I am just a spaz and being pulled over gives me anxiety. He wrote me a to-do list instead of a ticket. 'Thank you, sir. I actually can't function without those.'

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