Reducing Stress at Thanksgiving

 First of all I have to say thank you to all of my readers who have stuck with me despite the fact that my posts have been very sporadic. Life has been crazy. Having three kids has thrown me for a loop and of course life had several curve balls on top of it. Blogging was pushed to the back burner, but I'm finally feeling a little more on top of things. This week I went to a RS meeting on getting organized and I thought I would share some of the things that I learned. (And then I can have all the info here and toss the handouts so they aren't cluttering my house.)
 Here are some suggestions they gave to make the big Thanksgiving meal go a little smoother and more enjoyable.

• Plan the meal in advance, divide up assignments between guests that are coming. Just because you are hosting the party doesn't mean that you need to stress over everything. Assign someone to bring snacks.
• 2 weeks ahead of time- order a turkey (hope you've done that already)
• 1 week before- clean out the fridge, use up any leftovers and mostly empty bottles of condiments
• 3-4 days ahead- if using a frozen turkey, put in the fridge to thaw (1 day for every 4-5 pounds)
• 2 days ahead- make pie dough and refrigerate, toast bread for stuffing (if you're not just using Stove Top, ;) ) and pecans for pie.
• The day before- trim and peel vegetables, caramelize onions and make pies
• The morning of- prepare potatoes and refrigerate, make sure everyone has breakfast so they're not irritable all day
• 3 & 1/2 hours before- bring turkey to room temperature, start roasting, make glaze
• 2 hours before- cook side dishes, put egg beaters & a bowl in the fridge so they can fluff up whipping cream faster
• 30 minutes before- while turkey and potatoes are cooling, cook stuffing and make gravy
• After the meal- get everyone involved in putting away and cleaning up.

I hope you all have a happy Thanksgiving!

The Doing and Not Doing Lists of Christmas

I have recently decided that December is not long enough. I believe that it should be at least 6 weeks long. Would anyone really miss it if January and March were a little shorter? I know that I wouldn't. But as it stands I am not capable of doing all of the Christmasy things that I would like to do. As much as I would love it, the "perfect Christmas" is not going to happen. I concede, I can't get it all done and I don't want to drive myself crazy trying. So I made a list of things that I am doing and things that I have decided not to worry about.  I just have to remember that it's OK if I don't get these things done. If I magically have more time, maybe I may do a few from the "not do list".

The December Do List

1. Read Christmas stories to my kids every night
2. Put up the tree
3. Make cookies for my brother-in-law serving in the Phillipines.
4. Take the kids to see Christmas lights in ours and surrounding neighborhoods
5. Take the kids to see Christmas lights at the temple.
6. Team up with some friends to take dinner and gifts to a friend in need
7. Visiting teaching. I think this is the first time ever that I am done before the 15th of the month.
8. Maintain a semi-state of order in my home. Much easier said than done.
9. Healthy meals between the sweets.
10. Birthday stuff for Thing 2
11. Read the Christmas story from the Bible
12. Spend time playing with my kids
13. Shoe gifts for the 12 days of Christmas
14. Online Christmas shopping including gifts for siblings and in-laws, stocking stuffers and probably more toys than my kids actually need (but it's just so much fun to snag a deal on something fun for them).
15. Visit friends and family that live several counties away.
16. Movie/Game night with extended family.
17. Teach my children to serve someone in need. Still trying to think of the perfect idea.
18. Pressing Home and Car Repairs
19. At least one date with the love of my life.
20. Oh yeah, and did I mention I'm working Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, along with many other 12 hour shifts throughout the month?

The Not Do List

1. Christmas cards- not that we didn't have pictures taken, just the actual designing, stamping and mailing of Christmas cards is not going to happen. Sorry friends if you had your hopes up. If I am really on top of thing you may get an email. Save a tree.
2. Making cookies for my neighbors. My neighbors are awesome. I am really lucky, and I feel kind of bad that we aren't doing things for them at the moment, but we're probably going make cookies in January. Maybe I'm really doing them a favor. Sweets in Moderation.
3. Have perfectly wrapped gifts under the tree. Do you know what is under my Christmas tree? 3 nativity playsets (not set up mind you, but jumbled into several piles) and a few dozen Christmas books. No actual presents yet. We go for function here.
4. Gifts for my coworkers. Again I love each of them and think they are awesome, but I can only do so much.
5. Paper chains and other various crafts with the kids. Just not happening.
6. Put up the outdoor Christmas lights.
7. Put up the greater part of my Christmas decorations.
8. Make my own Christmas ornaments. When there are too many other things to get done, say no to craft!
9. Attend more than half of the parties we've been invited to.
10. Host our own Christmas party. I guess we're just party poopers.
11. Attend local festivals, concerts and programs.
12. Decorate my blog for Christmas 
13. Christmas caroling.
14. Ice-skating
15. Vast quantities of baking.
16. Build a snowman, unless there is some very drastic change in the St. George weather.
17. Gingerbread houses
18. Put money into savings this month. Oops.
19. Make gifts for my own kids. Thought about it, but no.
20. Have an elaborate Christmas dinner (see #20 above) Today I am going to make enchiladas and freeze them. So on Christmas Eve we'll have those with Cafe Rio Style Rice which is also in the freezer. Not fancy, but it will work. And it's not like my kids ever eat elaborate meals when I fix them anyway.
21. All of those other things that I wanted to do this season that I can't even think of right now.
22. Save the world.

I'm sure at some point I'm going to learn something from this.

 This morning I was supposed to work, but there weren't enough sick children, so I was put on-call. Hooray! I love being put on-call, it's my favorite. Especially on the weekends, because then my whole family is home. Yes, being on-call I make less than $3 an hour, but I get to be with my family, so it's worth it.

 Today I had marvelous plans. I did some small grocery shopping and rented a carpet cleaner. (Earlier this week when I tried to rent one there weren't any available, even though I called to verify beforehand. :S) Then I took my turkey carcass from the fridge, and threw it into the crock pot to make stock. Thing 2, who generally doesn't take much interest in my housekeeping activities found this to be very interesting. As I was chopping vegetables to put in it, he pulled up a chair and kept trying to convince me that we needed to put some purple grapes in the mix. :)

  Then I cleaned my house like some kind of crazy person. There is probably something wrong with me that I find it magical when my house is clean. I love it. But really it is fairly magical that I happened to have both the time and the energy to thoroughly clean my house. And looking at my carpets really makes me feel like singing. They really, really needed to be cleaned. Renting the carpet cleaner and buying solution came to $41, whereas paying someone to clean my carpets would cost at least $150. Hooray! Thing 2 also found carpet cleaning to be very interesting, for most of the cleaning he crawled along on the floor next to me watching the brushes. Silly boy.
  So my house is smelling like yumminess and my carpets were clean. When I was done I had more magical plans of pulling out all the Christmas decorations and bake cookies, maybe even do a little bit of shopping. The only thing left was my closet. Now for the past few weeks something has been amiss with my closet. There has been a musty odor, and it appeared about a week after I cleaned out and organized it. I had not the foggiest idea what it was. So my husband and I pulled everything out of our closet. Near the door we found a very moldy crayon. Thing 2 has a terrible habit of pouring water on the carpet. Why he enjoys this so much, I don't know, but we thought this was the cause of the problem. Then we kept pulling stuff out. Against the back wall sits our suitcase, and underneath it was more mold. (Shows how often we travel.) This had spread to 3 of my shoes (from 3 separate pairs) and my non-washable purse that I bought for $1 in Argentina. (I'm pretty sad about the bag, it was awesome.) When we pulled that away we discovered that there was about an inch of water damage along most of the baseboard. (Also of note my closet is inside my bathroom.) An inside wall mind you, which can only mean one thing. Plumbing issues. Murg. That totally puts a damper on the Christmas spirit and definitely no shopping.
  I cleaned everything with hydrogen peroxide and called a plumber. If he comes out today (Saturday), it will cost $130 per hour. If I wait until Monday it will only be $60 per hour. I can wait until Monday. Yes, this is a big pain in the neck that I need to address soon, but it totally can wait til Monday. I'm also thinking that putting my husband through school would have been a lot easier if I had been a plumber instead of a nurse. I'm sure that I will learn something useful from this experience and probably be able to get a blog post out of it with some helpful information to save someone else some hassle. And as I write this Thing 2 is shredding Styrofoam on my freshly cleaned carpet. That's my cue.

Reader Tips on Getting Ready for Christmas

And here are some of the great tips that people listed on how to get ahead on Christmas:

• Family History gift- time consuming, but valuable and they're doable if you spread the work out over a year
• The Target Clearance Sale- unadvertised and happens in January and July
• Make presents, start looking for ideas in September and start the making in October/November
• Buy one of those key locked large rubbermaid storage chests with three shelves. Buy things for each child,  wrap it and sit it on their shelf. Shop all year and not have a huge closet stashed with gifts to dig out
• Do most of my Christmas shopping on Black Friday, to make the holidays more stress free and enjoyable. Usually hit Target and Walmart and any other store that has an item I want or need.
• Look for free deals on photobooks at online sites like Picaboo and Shutterfly. Great family gifts for the price of shipping
• Enter giveaways for a chance to win presents
• Clip coupons 
• Cyber Monday & other forms of online shopping
• Do lots of shopping close to Christmas, businesses are dropping prices to compete for your dollar
• Don't travel more than twice in December and never back to back weekends
• For the holidays, make a list of all the goodies and extra traditional snacks. Then decide which ones to make this year. Then, put them all on the calendar for which days to make which things. 
• Whenever I see something that someone would like, I file it away mentally or make a note of it. I start doing actual shopping in September or October, usually, and it takes a lot of the stress off. 
• Used bookstores, they save a bundle, and used books have extra character. 
• Make photo calendars.
• Buying baking ingredients in bulk during the big loss leader sales in November. Check the store flyers and plan ahead! 

Getting Ready for Christmas & October Giveaway

Yes, yes I know it is not even Halloween yet. However my kids' birthdays are in November and December and if I don't start planning for the holidays way in advance, the holidays aren't fun. They're busy, stressful and more expensive.
 Here are some of the things that I've been stowing away over the past few months:

• a couple Littlest Pet Shops from Target (used a B1G1 coupon combined with a sale) 
• eight books (including some activity books) gathered from various sales (I generally only spend $4 or less on children's books)
• a wooden alphabet abacus from GraveyardMall.com ($7)
• a few Tag reader books from Walmart clearance & LeapFrog.com (used my coupons and the LF.com sale is still going through the end October)
• a couple movies (great deals + coupons)
• a few Melissa and Doug puzzles from B&N.com (@ 70% off)
• a couple M&D magnifying glasses from B&N.com (same sale)
• coloring books and new crayons (at $1 each or less)
• a Toy Story Lego set from B&N.com (that sale is still going through 10/24)
• multiple small items for stocking stuffers and "shoe gifts" (In my husband's family they have a tradition that on the 12 Days of Christmas, an elf left a tiny present in one of their shoes. It's one that we continued.) 
• plus I found a really great idea to make for the extended family (I'd share here, but once in awhile my family does read my blog and that would ruin the surprise.)

And this is the one that I am really excited about.

 One day my super cute friend sent me a text asking if my daughter like Disney Princesses. Of course. She collected porcelain dolls when she was young, was getting rid of stuff and was wondering if I would be interested in taking them off her hands. There were these, plus two others that aren't in the boxes. It is going to make a fantastic set-up for Christmas morning. My husband  plans on making her a cabinet to keep them safe from her little brother. I'm so excited for how excited she's going to be! I'm done with my shopping for her and some for my son and I've spent about $120. I'm pretty happy thus far, some items they have requested, a few they wouldn't have thought of, and several 'learning toys'.

Now for the October giveaway: Beauty and the Beast Diamond Edition Blu-ray/DVD combo pack plus Disney Princess soundtrack, to take one more item off your Christmas shopping list.  (Were you as excited as I was, to hear that this one was finally coming to DVD again?)

Here's how you can win it: 1. (Required) Be a follower and leave a comment stating your interest. 2. (Extra) Share one way you get ready for the holidays without losing your sanity. Be specific, not just 'I shop early', for example 'I hit x sale at y store', or 'I make z dish and freeze it' 3. (Extra) Share a deal you have found on one of your Christmas gifts for this year. 4. (Extra) 'Like' this post on Facebook (Button at bottom of post) and leave a comment here. 5. (Extra) Read one of these these posts Be A Hero, Be the Match or Folic Acid- A Key To Healthy Babies, share the info with someone and leave a comment here. (Because these are issues I care about, and I want people to be aware of how simple actions can make a huge difference.) Giveaway runs through October 31, 2010 at 23:59. The winner will be announced on November 1, 2010. The winner be selected using a random number generator. Only residents of the United States are eligible. Good Luck.

Home Remedy for Sore Throats: Apple Cider with Mulling Spices

Friday morning I woke up with a sore throat and thought "Why did I agree to come into work today?" After hitting the snooze alarm I remembered something about bills, my unit needing me and it only being a couple hours, then dragged my tired booty out of bed. I work in Pediatrics and I generally don't get sick, because I am exposed to a wide variety of nasty bugs in many forms on a regular basis and after a year or so that builds up a super immune system. That is I don't get sick as long as I get enough sleep and keep the stress down. (Unfortunately neither Wednesday or Thursday were low stress days.) If I don't keep the stress down there are any number of nasty bugs just waiting to make themselves at home. Solution: Treat symptoms while they are mild.

Growing up, whenever we had sore throats or various upper respiratory illnesses my mom would make hot lemonade or hot apple cider for us. (My grandma was a firm believer that if you added a teaspoon of Everclear alcohol to some hot lemonade and gargled it, it would kill anything that was lurking in your throat. It probably does, but I can't say that I have ever tried it.) So I filled my thermos with hot apple juice, lemon and mulling spices and I was good to go. I didn't realize how much my throat hurt until the apple cider was there to sooth it.

Now some of you may be asking, 'what are mulling spices?' Mulling spices turn ordinary hot apple juice into spicy yummy goodness. If you purchase them they are generally overpriced, but they are very easy to make. (Another trick I learned from my mom.) Plus when you make them yourself you have an excuse to smash things with a hammer, which can also help with stress. (Helpful Hint: I found that the cheapest place to buy spices is in the little bulk baggies at the health food store. The last time I bought them they were about 25% of the cost at the grocery store.)

Mulling Spices
6 cinnamon sticks
1 small whole nutmeg
1/2 cup of whole cloves
1/2 cup whole allspice
1 whole orange peel, cut into little pieces and dried
1/4 cup dried cranberries (optional)
1/4 cup thinly slice dried pears (optional)

1. Smash cinnamon sticks and nutmeg with a hammer. (Preferably with spices in a bag.) 2. Mix ingredients together. 3. Mix one heaping teaspoon of spices per cup of beverage. (Some people tie their spices into little cheesecloth bags before soaking them. I am way too lazy for that.) The longer the spices have to soak in the juice the better the flavor. If you are going to make big batch, a crock pot is a good option. You don't have to limit yourself to mulling in apple juice. Most clear fruit juices will work.

I've been drinking a lot of this stuff over the past four days. (I use the same spices a few times and keep refilling my thermos with hot juice.) My throat feels so much better. I like to add a tablespoon of lemon or orange juice to it as well (I had a voice teacher in college who swore by putting lemon juice in her water to ward off sore throats). I'm not saying that apple cider is a replacement for medicine when necessary, but there is a great deal to be said about getting plenty of fluids and Vitamin C. Both of which are necessary for healing. Plus the spices do great things for you too. Cinnamon helps with circulation, digestion, anxiety, stress, diabetes, menstrual cycles and is a mild natural antibiotic (which is why it is found in some toothpaste.) Cloves also improves digestion, eases throat irritation and coughing, and is another natural antiseptic. (I read in a few places that it has officially been endorsed by the FDA as a stopgap measure for tooth pain.) Allspice has pain relief and antiseptic properties. Nutmeg aids with digestion, but it's thrown in this mix for flavor. I think it's pretty awesome that all of these spices that I'm using to help things taste better are actually helping my body heal at the same time.

Book Review: I Hate It When Exercise Is The Answer

I picked up this book because it was convenient and I needed something to read while I was waiting for my car to be repaired. (Murg.) I Hate It When Exercise Is The Answer: A Fitness Program for the Soul by Emily Watts was not exactly what I was expecting, but I still enjoyed it. At first glance I thought I was going to be getting a book with "fitness hacks" or some other plan to improve your health with minimal effort. (Ok, if I had looked at the subtitle with that first glance I would have realized that's not what this book is about. Let's chalk it up to stress.) The author starts with the idea that just as it is important to strengthen your core muscles, it's important build your emotional and spiritual core, because "when the core is strong, everything works as it should." Building on that she came up with 31 exercises to do this and gave related stories from her own experience. It's a quick uplifting read. (Note it is very much geared towards and LDS audience, although many of her suggestions can apply to everyone.) Here are my favorite exercises that she suggested:

• Find Your Mission- Make a list of things that you are good at. that you like to do and times in your life when you've felt particularly pleased with your successes. Ask the Lord what He needs you to do with the interests and talents you've been given. Act on any inspiration received.
• Appreciating Moms- Write down five things your mom has done to help you become the person you are. Share the list with her if possible.
• Shining- Pick a day when you're out and about and make a diligent effort to smile and make eye contact with as many strangers as you can. Notice how many smile back.
• Recognizing Incremental Progress-Think of a negative behavior that you (or your children)  used to engage in that you don't anymore. When did you change? Was the transformation immediate or gradual? Consider how you can make little changes to add up to big progress in some area of your life.
• Cultivating Humility-The next time you are arguing with someone and are ready to shoot down all of their ideas, ask first "Help me understand why you feel the way you do". If it turns out that you were right you can preserve the relationship, if you were wrong you avoid looking like a total jerk!

Shopping Online 101

The other night as I was leaving work I was talking to a friend and she said that I needed to teach a class on shopping online. I don't think that I know enough that I could talk about it for more than half an hour, but I certainly know enough to write a blog post. These are things I have learned through much trial and error. So this is for Teri and everyone else who would like a few pointers on saving money on your online purchases.

• There is almost always a coupon code. If there is not a coupon, there is usually a discount or rebate. It is always worth looking. Thirty seconds of searching usually saves me at least $5.
• Places to look for coupon codes: Upromise, Coupon Mountain, RetailMeNot There are many others out there, but these are the ones that I've had the most success with.
• Places to get rebates: Upromise, Ebates and ShopAtHome.com. These places often have sign-up bonuses too. If having to use between a coupon and rebate I usually choose the coupon. But if there's no coupon and I planned on spending the money anyway...why not get a rebate?
• Compare prices. The internet is the fastest way to do this. I usually use Google Product Search. Even if I'm probably going to purchase an item in the stores, I often do a quick internet search so I have an idea of what a reasonable price is.
• Look at your employee discounts. I can only speak for my employer and my husband's, but using these discounts has saved us at least a few hundred dollars in just the past year. (My favorites are the 22% off my Verizon bill and perpetual B&N.com discount.) And look both places if you're both employed. For example, for some reason my work gives a great deal to DisneyLand   ticketsand his (which is smaller more local employer) to DisneyWorld. I have no idea why this is, but it has been handy info. Some employers will also extend discounts to extended family. My husband was able to share his discount with his siblings. Ask your family members if they have discounts that they can share.
• I love Amazon.com. At least half the time they have the best prices. Their site can keep track of what you buy for who and give you suggestions for other gift-d on giving occasions based on your previous purchases. You can also make a "wish-list" to make it a little easier for friends and family who never know what to get for you. Or when you come across something that you think someone will like, you save it in a gift-idea list for a future occasion. (Or you can look and see if they've made a wish-list and if there is anything on it that will fit the bill.) Also love their free shipping on $25(+). Plus you can really buy almost anything at Amazon. Some of the many things I have bought there- movies, books, music, baby clothes, a playpen, candy, a comforter, electronics, ace bandages, toys, kitchen tools and spices. Problem is they seldom have coupons that are actually of use to me.
• I also love Barnes&Noble.com. Their online prices are quite often less than their store prices, plus then you can stack coupons with employee discounts or Upromise rebates. I've also snagged some great deals on music, movies and children's toys from there. Again free shipping  on $25(+), but it's significantly faster than Amazon's free shipping.
• I find that looking at something online and then coming back to it a day later if I really want it significantly decreases my impulse purchases. Whereas if I bother to drive to the store I am far more likely to make a purchase, because I don't want to drive there again when I decide that I do really want said item. There is less time invested in the purchase this way.
• Making your travel purchases online can save you so much money! If you plan on taking a trip, at least compare rates online before making a purchase.
• I do a lot of shopping online because there is no babysitter required and I don't have to feel rushed because my children are throwing tantrums. My computer will still be there when the kids have calmed down.
• I always use a credit card. I have in fact had my credit card information stolen on a couple of occasions. (I do A LOT of online shopping.) But I just had to call my credit card company and tell them that I didn't make said questioned purchases and every time they have given me the full credit and promptly issued new cards and my credit was not harmed. So nothing lost. Things may not be so easy if they were to snatch your bank account info. (It depends on your bank.) Credit cards also often give extended warranties on products like electronics.
• I often buy non-perishable grocery items at Alice.com because they automatically apply some of the available coupons, offer competitive prices and free shipping and I don't have to drag my kids to the store. They will also email you reminders when you're nearly out of certain items if you wish. Last fall they had gift cards for 30% off, which means I'm essentially getting 30% off everything I purchase.
• Shopping online for birthday gifts and Christmas presents saves me a lot of time and money and significantly reduces my holiday stress. (Why fight the after Thanksgiving crowds when I can sit in my pajamas eating leftover pie and get as good or sometimes better deals?)
• Shopping online is just one of those things that can make your life easier. Give it a try. You may be amazed at what you might find. And it's always fun to get packages in the mail.

Anyone else have any other effective online shopping tips?

Steering Clear of the Brink...

The other day I was talking with my husband. He was telling me about one of his students who has a tough situation at home and can't wait to graduate and get away. The biggest reason is that his mom is crazy, unreasonable and really makes his life miserable. (And we all know moms like her, or at least we know children like her son.) I thought 'How very sad'. It also made me think, 'how does this happen?' I'm assuming that at one point, perhaps a long time ago, she was a caring mother who her children enjoyed being around. She was the one that they went to when they needed comfort.  What happened things so her children can't stand to be around her? That's hard to say. I don't even know this woman. And as Tolstoy said "All happy families resemble one another, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." There are great many things that can drive a person to unhappiness. (Perhaps I'm assuming wrong, perhaps she was always crazy.) But my guess is that it was stress in some form or another. Stress can drive you crazy, weaken your immune system and make you unhappy if you let it. But then you hear stories of people who go through horrifying experiences and come out even stronger. I think the key is learning to cope. One way of coping may work for one person and not another. Find what works best for you. Here are some of the things that I do to cope with stress.

1. Deep clean the kitchen. Sometimes things are beyond my control. So I take my frustration out in a productive way with a scrubbing pad. By the time my kitchen is spotless I usually am too tired to be angry.
2. Exercise Yeah, don't do that one nearly as much as I used to or as I should, but it does work.
3. Think of the things that I'm grateful for.
4. Play with the kids. Their laughter and smiles are infectious.
5. Talk with someone.
6. Get away. Take a walk. Take a vacation.
7. Pray.
8. Read a good book.
9. Go shopping. This one can be dangerous.
10. Listen to good music. Tchaikovsky always makes me feel more relaxed.
11. Get more sleep.  Drink some tea or take a sleeping pill if you absolutely have to. Being sleep deprived can intensify all stress.
12. Do something creative. Play some music. Paint. Bake. Whatever does it for you.
13. Choose to be happy. Choose to see the positive.

Hopefully by the time my kids are teenagers I won't be crazy and can still be a positive influence in their lives.

Appreciation Can Save Your Sanity

I've talked about appreciation and gratitude before, and when I was in college I studied a little about its health benefits, but recently I found this great concise and convincing list. (I found this list in What Happy Working Mothers Know, and they referenced the info from What Happy Companies Know by Dan Baker & Cathy Greenberg and The HeartMath Institute)

• Positive attitudes in heart patients increase survival by 20% after 11 years.
• Positive talk between couples reduces stress by 15%, negative talk increases stress by 48%
• Appreciation reduces physical symptoms and medications, improves hormone balance, and increases production of antibodies.
• Appreciation syncs heart and mind, improves auditory discrimination, spatial awareness, and short and long-term memory.
• Thoughts and even subtle emotions influence the activity and balance of the nervous system, which interact with our digestive, cardiovascular, immune and hormonal systems.
• Negative reactions like panic and anger create disorder and imbalance in the nervous system.
• Positive feelings like gratitude create increased order and balance in the nervous system, which results in overall increased body and brain balance and function.

So the next time you're feeling stressed about something, think about something you're grateful for. It's better for your body, your overall well-being and it will help you to think more clearly.

How to Save Money on Healthcare

These days health care costs are a big deal. So many people have overwhelming financial struggles because of their health care bills. As a nurse, and just with my interactions with people, I have heard so many sad stories of people with enormous medical bills that sometimes took decades to pay off. Some of these costs could have been prevented if people understood and were better prepared, and unfortunately some could not. But as a nurse and as a friend this is what I would recommend to try to prevent those stressful situations.

1. Wash your hands! And wash your kids' hands! This is the best way to prevent illness. Use hand sanitizer. It's not as good as a thorough hand washing, but it's still much better than an un-thorough hand washing.
2. Open an FSA (Flexible Spending Account) if your company offers one. You decide the amount to put in and the money is taken out of your check pre-tax for things you are buying anyway. (And there is an enormous list of things that qualify.)
3. Get health insurance, even if you think that you don't need it or can't afford it, try to get something. You can't predict the future and you don't know when you might need it. (However, there is an exception to this. I have a relative who has a rare genetic disease, and is considered "uninsurable". It costs him nothing to manage his disease, but if he doesn't it can lead to organ failure. He can get insurance through the state, but it's not very good coverage and when he looked into it ten years ago, premiums would cost $1200 each month for himself alone. In cases like this, you are better off paying out of pocket on an as needed basis.)
4. Shop around for your health insurance. What your employer offers isn't necessarily the best option for you and your family.
5. Understand your health insurance, especially when it comes to hospitalisations. Before you are admitted to the hospital understand your coverage. It is not your doctor's, nurse's or therapist's job to understand what or will not be covered. It is yours. There are many times in my work I see patients who I think "Are you sure you want to make that choice? Because I'm willing to bet money that your insurance will not pay for that." But I am not allowed to say that, medical billing is not in the scope of my practice. I just do what the doctor orders. Really, taking the time to understand your health insurance can save you thousands of dollars.
6. Examine all of your options. I had a co-worker who's husband was "uninsurable". He found that he could get his medical equipment from India for 1/4th of the cost. 
7. Exercise  regularly. It will help you to feel better and can save you thousands down the road by helping to prevent cancer, diabetes and heart disease to name a few.
8. Eat a well balanced diet and drink plenty of water. Same story.
9. Check out your local health department. They often offer discounted vaccinations, assistance programs, and classes on improving your health.
10. If your insurance company denies your claim, call and ask why. I have had this happen to me several times with a few different insurance companies and every single time when questioned, the insurance company covered at least part if not all of my claim. It's always worth a shot. "Oh really, that's funny, because I thought that classifying pregnancy as a pre-existing condition was against federal law." Every single time.
11. Use preferred providers. Some insurance companies have a list of providers that they are contracted with and the upshot is that when you go to these people your bill is significantly less. When you've picked someone and you want to find out what your coverage is don't ask "Do you accept X insurance?", ask "Are you a preferred provider for X insurance?" A small difference in phrasing that again can save you thousands of dollars.
12. Keep track of your receipts. For your FSA or your taxes.
13. Compare prices at various pharmacies.
14. Take care of your teeth. Floss daily and spend the extra money on a quality toothbrush. It's worth the investment of time and money.
15. Listen to your gut feeling. If you think something is wrong with yourself or your child speak out and don't be silenced until somebody listens. It really ticks me off when a doctor doesn't listen and in the end they discover something terrible that could have been treated or prevented if someone had just listened to the child's mother.

Monday is the last day to enter this month's give-away.

To Buy or Not To Buy A House

Buying a home is a huge deal, and there is something very satisfying about having a place to call your own. Plus there are supposedly various advantages to owning a home, you can deduct the interest from your taxes, and when you move on you can get some money out of it (provided you can sell it on good terms.) But buying a house is not for everyone.
I like to read finance blogs. However, one common idea that I have found on many of them is that buying a house is a bad idea.'Americans are silly for believing that purchasing a home is the American dream.' 'You save so much money if you just rent.' 'You don't have to pay closing costs, repairs, taxes, etc, if you just rent.' 'If you invested the money you're spending on your mortgage you'll gain so much more than you can profit from selling your home.' I'm not a financial expert, but I beg to differ with some of these.
 Yes, when you purchase a home you are now responsible for repairs and taxes. And each month you are probably paying a significant amount of interest. However, when you rent you are paying the same costs, just indirectly, through rent. If your landlord has a tax increase on his property, he is going to pass that on to you in the form of raising the rent. The same goes with all those other various maintenance costs. Also I've heard that you could be saving that money and investing if you didn't have a pay a mortgage. Sure, that's a great idea if you don't mind living in a cardboard box. In reality you have to pay for living costs whether it's to the landlord or the mortgage company.
 I think the key issue when it comes down to deciding whether to rent or to buy is direct cost. I found this great quote by Suze Ormond, which I think says it well. "In Young, Fabulous & Broke, I said real estate is one of the best investments out there. If you purchase real estate in the right way, it will pay off in the long run. The right way is, when you purchase real estate, you have to say, what does an apartment rent for versus what can you buy something for. If you buy something and can’t rent it out for anything close to the mortgage payment, including insurance and other costs, then real estate is overpriced. Have you lost your mind? Not, “Did you qualify for a mortgage?” Not, “Did you have enough money in your emergency fund?” If you had simply done your homework to see, what does the same thing rent for, then you wouldn’t have gotten caught. But people just bought real estate thinking it’s a good investment. People, don’t be so stupid."
 When my husband and I were still newly married we decided to buy a townhome. The biggest reason was that where we lived purchasing a home was much cheaper than renting. At first our mortgage each month was easily $300 less than what we would have been paying for rent (towards the end it was closer to $600 less, and our utilities were also significantly less than we were renting.). We sold our townhouse in the middle of the economic crisis, and yes, we sold it for $70-90K less than we would have gotten for it a year earlier, but we still didn't sell it at a loss. When you figure in closing costs we about broke even, we were just happy to be able sell in the economic situation and move to where my husband's new job is. So real estate was not a magical money making answer for us, but the key is that we were saving at least $300 each month. With that money, my husband graduated without any debt, we paid off our car and had two kids in the mean time. If we were renting I don't think we would have been able to accomplish that.
 However buying a house isn't for everyone, if any of the following applies to you, I would think twice about purchasing a home right now:

• You plan on being in one place for less than two years.
• You can't afford it.
• Your income is unstable.
• You can't put down at least 10% of the purchase price.
• You haven't done research on your purchase, rent prices, loans and interest rates.
• You have bad credit and/or overwhelming debt.
• Housing prices have been sky-rocketing and you're at the top of a bubble. (Of course this is much easier to see in hindsight.)

This article on I Will Teach You To Be Rich is a good starting point for your research. (Although he tends to lean towards anti-purchasing.) He lists several resources to get you started.

Laughter- The best way to deal with stress

Laughter is one of the things that makes life worth living. And I find that I am less stress if I can find a reason to laugh about a situation or at least find something else to laugh about. Here are several sites that can always make me laugh:

cakewrecks.blogspot.com- A cake decorator who makes fun of monstrous professional cakes. Funnier than you would imagine.

lovelylisting.com- Another one that surprised me with how very entertaining it is. This woman posts real estate pictures and listings and comments on them. It's amazing how very hilarious some ads can be. (Thanks, Kristy.)

thereifixedit.com- Sometimes people hack things together in interesting ways.

failblog.org- Ok, so perhaps it's not nice to laugh at other people's stupidity, but sometimes I can't help myself.

www.harkavagrant.com- Who would have thought that poorly drawn comic about history could be so funny?

How to Have a More Stressful Holiday Season

Here's what my holidays have been like and here are several things I don't recommend based on personal experience. (Especially doing them all in the span of one month.)
1. Travel (as in 4 hours each way) multiple times for various events with small children in a tiny car.
2. Cram in some big family events like a wedding for a close family member or LDS mission fairwell.
3. Move into a new house on Christmas Eve.
4. Pack and move with less than a week's notice. {But I'm happy that getting a new house is happening much faster than predicted. ;)}
5. Do some major home repairs.
6. Go without ALL major appliances for any amount of time.
7. Have your children get sick a few times, so you stay inside until you get cabin fever.
8. Go without exercise for the entire season (mostly because we don't want to share our germs with the other kids in the daycare.)
9. Throw some crazy family in the mix.
10. Volunteer to deliver a dessert as part of the 12 Days of Christmas for a family on Dec 17th and don't pay attention to the fact that that is the 5th Day of Christmas until the night before, which means that you really need to bake FIVE DESSERTS for them. (And no, a plate with 5 cookies wouldn't cut it for a family that big, or I might have tried to pull it.)
 On the plus side I had all my shopping done really early and went without 90% of my Christmas decorating to make things simpler. Otherwise things really would have been stressful. Even with all this craziness going on, we're doing ok. I have my family and am so grateful for every moment I have with them at this time of year. Sure this month is crazy, but I'm grateful to have a home and a job and generally healthy kids. Just having that is such a great blessing. And I love having the chance to celebrate the birth of our Savior. I didn't put a Christmas tree this year, but that's not what it's about. It's about the birth of Child who was filled with enough love and power to change the world. And that love can bless me even if I don't have a picture perfect Christmas. I hope that you and yours each have a Merry Christmas.